Soz I s’pose

The recorder must be faulty; it never complimented Vernon.

The recorder must be faulty; it never complimented Vernon.

Section 99 is sorry but not that sorry

Back at Jean Luc’s house he threw himself despairingly into an armchair and held his head in his hands. “Why Jean Luc, why?”

“Because Vernon, you’re either a fool, a genius or destined to be an a fugitive.”

Vernon cupped the coffee with his hands and let the steam flood his face. At that moment Émile sauntered in. “Hi. Got my money?”

Vernon handed over the cheque without looking at wonder boy.

“What’s up with you?” Emile asked, not caring particularly.

In answer Vernon pulled out his MP3 disaster recorder and pressed play. A booming confident cajoling voice rang out. “Mr Jules, what I am looking for is apparatus that will filter out all nonsense, revealing meaning in way that artfully skirts around tedious research and painstaking investigation. Can the nonsense filter do this? If not good day to you.”

Vernon had had the opportunity to say ‘no sadly this can’t be done.’ Instead, in a cavalier act of bullet-headed revenge he had said “Mmm, an interesting proposition. I’ll offer that question to my co-developer Mr Tarquin McGuin. Tarkey perhaps you would field this one?”

The recording caught something of the over-excited enthusiasm in Tarkey’s voice as he said, embellishing his moment of glory, “I’m so glad you asked Ms Negativa, we’re working on that and will no-doubt roll out phase two shortly.”

Vernon looked at Emile despairingly and shrugged. Wonder boy at least returned the shrug companionably before retiring to his counting house and calculations. “Soz I s’pose” he said as he walked away.

After a pint together the whole situation became much clearer.

After a pint together the whole situation became much clearer.

“C’mon Vernon. Cheer up. We could be rich, or at least shot of Tarkey. I’ll buy you a pint at the Brewery” Jean Luc suggested, “…fancy a curry?”

Oddly enough Vernon thought to himself it would do very well as the condemned man’s last meal. Things didn’t seem so bad after a little lubrication however and Vernon hummed contentedly, and tunelessly, in the taxi on the way home late that night.

Follow the full story on The Novel page


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